Getting Older and Learning

I have a love hate relationship with aging. I am happy in one sense that I am no longer a 20 something year old as I was so insecure and unsure of who I was. I am still struggling with some things but I am a little bit more sure footed now. There are also a lot of things that no longer matter as life and perspectives change as we go through different life experiences. I love the fact that the older I get those romantic relationships that were harmful to my mental wellbeing and offered no personal growth don't matter so much now and have less of an effect on me......or so I think. I am happy that I have had the opportunity to travel and meet so many people and I am happy that the older I get the more I seem to understand human nature. I have grown to understand that,

1. If someone hates me there is nothing I can do to change it, I have learnt to just stop wasting my time.

2. I have learnt that it is the life experiences rather than the gifts I bought while travelling that really truly matter. It's the experiences that I remember and those are the things that make me smile when I remember them 10 years later.

3. My family is really important to me. I don't know what I would do without them.

4. My best friends are those that don't try to change me but believe I am awesome just because I'm me.

5. It's ok to say no. Nobody has the right to my time and space. I choose who to spend time with and who to allow into my circle. It's my right, it's all up to me.

6. It's ok to treat myself to nice things (within reason). I worked and earned the money, it is therefore quite fine to spend it on myself.

7. I have to take better care of my body, it's the only one that I've got.

8. Tell the people you love that you love them. You never know how it could change their life. You also never know how long you will have them with you.

9. My faith and relationship with Jesus Christ is super important to me. If I'm not doing my daily devotions and maintaining my relationship with the Lord I feel really insecure and exposed to the elements.

10. God is not waiting for me to slip up and fail so that He can punish me.

11. I am loved, I am blessed and I am worthy.

12. I should always ask for what I really want and not hope that someone will just give me what I need or want.

There are a lot of upsides to getting older but there are some downsides as well. I hate that I am forgetting people's names. I hate that it's so hard to lose weight now, OMG!!! I also hate having to always be mature and responsible, as a result I laugh and joke around whenever I am in a safe space - it keeps me sane. My back now hurts when I stand for more than an hour, my ankles swell at the end of the day, I can't eat spicy foods anymore and I fall asleep while watching television on the regular now. Getting older I am having to write everything down during meetings and I'm dependent on my diary to keep appointments and use alarms to remind me to do some stuff. An older friend of mine always says, "age is a bitch". That's no lie, it is an unkind thing. But, I love that it has taught me to be independent, organized and focused. I am also now less ashamed of showing others exactly who I am.